Breaking News from HeyAlma: Este Haim is Engaged and Nobody Cares

Breaking News from HeyAlma: Este Haim is engaged and I don't give a hot steaming shit.

If you don’t know who Haim is, they are a pop band comprised of three Jewish sisters and their father is an Israeli immigrant. Their music is wonderful and mostly popular with people much younger than me. These three badass Jewish women rocked it on stage with their Magen Davids, leaning heavily into their Jewish identity. It was the Broad City of the music world - it was cool to be Jewish! Ahh, those glory days…if only any of those five women didn’t break our hearts into a million pieces..

But I’m not here to talk about Abbi and Ilana - especially Ilana.

Because if you are a Jewish woman in the world you already know about the shonda that is Ilana. But I almost have more respect for those who say what they feel with their whole chest - even if what they feel is horrific, disgraceful, dangerous nonsense. Sitting silently while your people are in pain and you have the platform to do something about it feels worse.

Which brings us back to Haim. After 10/7/23 they went silent, turned off their comments, and deleted all their social media posts.

At first, I thought they just needed some time to wrap their heads around it. Maybe they have complicated feelings about Israel - which is OK! Perhaps each of them has an entirely different viewpoint on the conflict - there are three of them after all and they can’t be expected to speak entirely in unison. But still - even if you don’t consider yourself a Zionist, how can you say nothing when 1200 of your brothers and sisters - entire families - are massacred and 250 more including children are kidnapped?

But the silence continued. And the silence continued through the synagogues set ablaze, swastikas drawn on Jewish Day schools, Jews attacked and stabbed and shot in the streets. It continued through the cancelled Matisyahu concerts and boycotted Jewish author book signings and vandalized kosher restaurants. You do not have to be in love with the Israeli government to speak out about these things.

And the silence continued on. Through the nightmare election season and the Elon Musk salutes and the Kanye meltdown and the swastika Super Bowl ad. It’s not about Israel anymore. It never really was.

There are 15 million Jews on Earth. Kanye West has 40 million Twitter followers. The Macklemore song that pretty much blames everything on the Jews is being shared by everyone you know. A handful of Jewish people are risking it all - their livelihood, their relationships, their safety - to speak out on this godforsaken internet while some of the wealthiest, most respected and followed Jewish celebrities can’t be bothered to comment. And we are supposed to care that they have a new album coming out? Spare me.

I think about my 11-year-old daughter who chooses to wear a Magen David at a school where she is one of the only Jewish students. These are supposed to be her Jewish role models.

And the reality of it - speaking out against antisemitism doesn’t just automatically put the kibash on your career. Amy Schumer still has the #1 movie on Netflix. Debra Messing is currently part of an all-star hit Broadway show. Iliza Shlesinger’s comedy tour is selling out.

And if it did mean selling less records - who cares?

Even Taylor Swift came out to speak her mind about politics despite the ramifications and she might be the most famous woman in the world.

The silence of Jewish celebrities - especially those who have built their brand leaning into Jewish tropes - Adam Sandler, Larry David, and so many more - amplifies the hundreds of millions of voices leading to violence against our community. We all have a responsibility to take a stand in whatever way we can. There are so few of us - including a very loud minority of extremists (on both sides) in our own community working actively against us (*cough Ilana*).

The loss of these voices is so palpable someone had to create an AI video just to respond to the most virulent, viral antisemitic incident to date. This is just sad.

So, no, I don’t care that Este Haim is engaged. And based on the responses to HeyAlma’s Instagram post, neither does anyone else.